The Tale of an Elf
by LOTRguysRhot
Summary: Patricia is a beeutiful elf. All of the others are jealous so she goes with Frodo. All the men fall in love with her but she is engaged. Who will she choose? Please R&R. Not a Parody!
1. The beeutiful elf

The Tale of an Elf  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Patricia was the most beeutiful elf in all of the Shire. Whenever she went somewhere, all the others would stare at her beauty.  
  
"I wish I was like Patricia!" all the females would say.  
  
But they were not, and Patricia was beeutiful.  
  
So, one day as she was shopping, she could take the stares no longer.  
  
"Stop it!" she cried. "I am a normal person, just like you!"  
  
"No you are not." they said. "You are beeutiful"  
  
Patricia went home and cried. "Why must I be so beautiful?" she thought. She wished that she was normal looking.  
  
There was a knock on the door. She wiped the tears from her face and went to answer it. "Helo Frodo." She said.  
  
"Hello Patricia."  
  
"Come in."  
  
Now, the people of the Shire would often come to her for advice, as she was a wise elf.  
  
"What troubles you Frodo?"  
  
"The wizard Gandalf tells me that I must take Bilbo's Ring to Riverdell."  
  
"And why does this bother you?"  
  
"I do not wish to do it alone."  
  
Patricia saw her chance. She had always wanted adventure, and wanted to be away from the Shire where the people stared at her and hated her because she was beeutiful.  
  
"I shall go with you Frodo."  
  
He stared at her, his lovely blue eyes open wide. "You will?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"thank you Patricia!" he said kissing her hand.  
  
So the next day they set off to go to Riverdell.  
  
"First we will go to Bree and see if Gandalf is there yet." Patricia said.  
  
"OK" said Frodo  
  
They walked all that day and the next, stopping only for food and drink and sleep.  
  
On the second night, they were sitting, staring at the fire, when Frodo looked at Patricia. She looked so beeutiful in the firelight, with her long silky beeutiful golden eyes and bright deep blue hair.  
  
"Patricia" Frodo said "I think I am falling in love with you."  
  
She sat up with a start and looked at Frodo in shock. "What?" she said trembling.  
  
"I have always loved you" he said scooting closer and looking her in the eye.  
  
He took her hand and kissed it. It was trembling. "Why do you tremble?" he asked.  
  
"How can you love me?" she asked. "I never thought you would."  
  
"You are beeutiful inside and out and you helped me when no one else would."  
  
"Oh Frodo."  
  
She grazed into his eyes and for a moment time stopped. She lay a trembling hand upon his cheek and drew his face near. They kissed and it was a beeautiful kiss, long and passionate.  
  
But as they kissed, Patricia thought of another she had kissed. She pulled away.  
  
"What is it." Frodo said.  
  
"I am sorry Frodo I should not have done that."  
  
"Why not."  
  
"I am engaged to another."  
  
"Oh" he said and they did not speack to each other for the next five days until they got to Bree.  
  
"Here is the Prancing Pony." Patricia said breaking their silence.  
  
They went inside.  
  
"Where is Gandalf." Frodo asked the bartender.  
  
"Who."  
  
"Gandalf."  
  
"Oh the grey fellow with the pointy beard and the big grey hat."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Have not seen him for six months."  
  
Frodo looked at Patricia in dispair. She was sad and wished to hug him and tell him that everything would be all right but she could not.  
  
"Now what should we do?" he said.  
  
"LEt us get a drink and talk this over."  
  
So they went and sat down at some tables and ate and drank.  
  
Soon Patricia noticed a man in the corner. "He is very handsome." she thought. He was sitting there handsomely, dark and brooding. She felt a shudder go through her body.  
  
"What is it Patricia." Frodo asked.  
  
"That man is starting at us."  
  
Just then Frodo heard the bartender mention his name. He ran to the bartender. "Noooo!" he siad. Than he dissapeared.  
  
"Oh no where has he gone." Patricia said.  
  
Suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder. She looked up into the face of the dark and brooding man and shivered.  
  
Suddenly Frodo appeared next to her looking shaken.  
  
Suddenly the man grabbed Frodo.  
  
Suddenly the man dragged them upstairs.  
  
Suddenly he threw them on the floor. "Ouch" Patricia said. She did not think that he was so handsome now.  
  
Suddenly she jumped up and tried to run out the door but the dark man grabbed her.  
  
"I am Aragorn son of Aragron and I am a king and a friend of Gandalf I will help you get the ring to Riverdell."  
  
He was a king! She almost swooned into his arms.  
  
"Should we trust him?" Frodo asked.  
  
She looked up into his eyes. Aragorn was staring at her. You are beeutiful his eyes said.  
  
"Yes Frodo we can trust him."  
  
~~~  
  
Ok that is the end of the chapter let me know what you think. R&R! No constructive critisism, please flame.  
  
In the next chapter we will get to weatherstop and some interesting things will happen there.  
  
Who wil Patricia choose? Aragorn or Frodo? Or will she choose someone else? And who is this mysterious fellow she is engaged to?  
  
Please R&R!! 


	2. Weatherstop

The Tale of an Elf  
  
Chapter 2  
  
~~~  
  
Thanks to all the great reviewers! I will now spell-check and thanks for letting me know that "beeutiful" is actually "beautiful", lol. Also, it's Aragorn, son of Arathorn, I knew that but I messed up. And thanks for letting me know that it's "Rivendell" not "Riverdale." Thanks!  
  
Now on with the story!" ~~~  
  
Patricia was getting tired. They had been walking for a long time. She was sad because neither Frodo not Aragorn would talk to her.  
  
~~~  
  
Frodo was sad. He loved Patricia so much. He was sad because she was engaged to another. He could not figure out who it was. It might be Aragorn because he kept staring at Patricia and then looking away. Frodo decided to find out.  
  
"Aragorn?" he said later that night when Patricia was sleeping.  
  
"Yes Frodo?"  
  
"Do you love Patricia?"  
  
Aragorn thought for a moment. "No Frodo I do not."  
  
"Than why do you stare at her all the time?"  
  
"BEcause she reminds me of another--Arwen Undomiel, who is the fairest of all the elven kind."  
  
"If she is more beautiful than Patricia she must be beautiful indeed."  
  
"She is."  
  
They said nothing for a moment. Then Frodo said. "I love Patricia."  
  
"I thought so." replied Aragorn.  
  
"Is it that obvious?" Frodo said.  
  
"Yes. Love is always obvious." Aragorn siad.  
  
"What do you think that I should do?" Frodo said.  
  
"Does she know how you feel?" Aragorn said.  
  
"Yes but she is engaged to another." Frodo said.  
  
"Oh well then you must find this person and talk to him."  
  
"OK" said Frodo as he fell asleep.  
  
Plop  
  
Frodo fell noisily.  
  
~~~  
  
The next day they walked a long way. Aragorn pulled Frodo aside as they were walking.  
  
"Frodo have you thought about what I said?" Aragorn said.  
  
"Yes I did." Frodo said.  
  
"I have too and I think you should ask Patricia who it is who is engaged to her." Aragorn said.  
  
"Patricia?" Frodo said.  
  
"Yes Frodo?" She said sadly.  
  
"Who is this person that you are engaged to?" Frodo asked  
  
Patricia was silent a moment. "His name is Figwit." She said.  
  
"Ok." said Frodo but his mind was churning. So was his stomach.  
  
~~~  
  
Aragorn looked up. Towering high above him was weatherstop.  
  
"Here we are." he said.  
  
They began to climb up the hill. Soon they all got tired, except for Aragorn. "Stay here." he said.  
  
An hour later he was back. Frodo and Patricia had not been idle. They had explored the small dell and the surrounding slopes. Not far away they found a spring of clear water in the hillside, and near it footprints no more than a day or two old. In the dell itself they found recent traces of a fire, and other signs of a hasty camp. There were some fallen rocks on the edge of the dell nearest to the hill. Behind them Patricia came upon a small store of firewood neatly stacked.*  
  
"Good job." Aragorn said, and he meant it.  
  
~~~  
  
The fire crackled merrily. Aragorn sat smoking his pipe.  
  
The night was quiet, so quiet that Patricia was feeling uneasy. "Let's sing!" she suggested.  
  
"You go first." said Frodo.  
  
"All right let me think." she said. "Here-  
  
"A Elbereth Gilthoniel  
silvren penna miriel  
o menel algar elenath!  
Na-chared palan diriel."*  
  
"That was lovely" frodo sai.d  
  
"Why don't you sing now" suggested Patricia.  
  
"No thank you" said Frodo and that was that.  
  
"I'll be right back" said Aragorn.  
  
As soon as he left Patricia felt worried. "Frodo--"  
  
Just then five hooded and black men came over the ridge.  
  
Patricia and Frodo pulled out their swords.  
  
"Get behind me Patricia" said Frodo.  
  
"No Frodo I cannot let you die."  
  
"All right but I warned you."  
  
Patricia ran to meet the black things head-on. Their sword clashed, and soon they were engaged in a deadly battle.  
  
"Where had Frodo gone?" she cried.  
  
Just then a creature started to stab Frodo.  
  
"No !" she said and threw herself in front of Frodo.  
  
She screamed as the icy blade penetrated her shoulder.  
  
~~~ *The Fellowship of the Ring J.R.R. Tolkien  
  
Oh no will Patricia be OK? Will Frodo talk to Figwit? what will Figwit say? No constructive critisism, please flame.  
  
Please R&R!  
  
~~~ 


	3. Nazgup again

Chapter 3  
  
~~~  
  
Thank you to all the reviewers, exspecially Viggolover! That was nice of you! Please keep R&Ring, lol! Here is chapter three! (By the way, MazokuGrlSizer, thank you for the idea of the Nazgup(Ha! I didn't call it a black thing!) falling in love with her! And Sauron! Now I know how to destroy the Ring, lol!)  
  
This is AU!  
  
~~~  
  
Patricia screamed! The pain was terrible!  
  
An evil face of one of the Nazgup(Ha! I didn't call them black things!) loomed over her! "What have you done!" he yelled at the one who stabbed her!  
  
Patricia recognized that voice! It was the witch king of Angmar! He had wanted to marry her but she had refused because he was evil!  
  
"Telcontar" she moaned "Why?!"  
  
He stared at her and was struck by her beauty! "Patricia after you refused me I was offered one of the 9 rings of power! I was hurt by you so I took it!"  
  
"Oh no!" Patricia moaned. What had she done by her refusal?!  
  
Telcontar put his hand on her shoulder, closed his eyes and chanted! Patricia felt the pain from the blade dissapear!  
  
Just then Frodo screamed! "No Frodo!" Patricia said.  
  
She ran to where he lay. But he was not there!  
  
"Oh no where has he gone!" she cried!  
  
Suddenly he appearded screaming.  
  
Suddenly Telecontar stood before her. "How could you refuse me Patricia?!" he said.  
  
Suddenly Frodo gasped. "You love her too!" he gasped.  
  
Suddenly Patricia gasped.  
  
Suddenly Aragorn jumped out and hit Telecontar with a flamy thing. (I think it was a Middle earth version of a flashlight? lol!)  
  
Suddenly Telecontar flew over the edge of the cliff.  
  
Suddenly they heard a voice. "I looovve youuuu Pattriiciaaaa!!!!!"  
  
Suddenly Patrica shuddered. Beneath her, Frodo shuddered also. The stab was beginning to take affect!!  
  
Suddenly Aragorn stood before them. "Let us get him to Rivendell. (See I remembered! lol!) Frodo needs Elvis medicine!"  
  
Suddenly he scooped up Frodo and ran into the woods. Patricia ran after them.  
  
Suddenly Aragorn looked sharply at Patricia. "Why are you not hurt as well? He said."  
  
Becuase the witch king of Angmar loves me and healed me." she repllied.  
  
"He does?" Aragorn shuddered.  
  
Patricia took Frodo from Aragorn and lovingly brushed the hair away from his eyes. He opened them for a brief moment. "I love you Frodo." she whispered. He smiled breifly before sinking back into unconsiousness.  
  
Now Patricia's mind wandered. She remembered the day she met Frodo...  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Frodo had been a baby. Patricia had been sent to the Shire to watch over him. "You must watch out for him he is special." Gandalf had told her.  
  
Patricia had not wanted to go. "But I am engaged to Figwit!" she siad.  
  
Gandalf shook his head. "Only you can protect him as is necessary. You must do this."  
  
So Patricia had gone to the Shire. Figwit had been sad but had promised to wait for her.  
  
So she had watched Frodo grow up. Every day she had loved him more, up until the very day he kissed her. Now she was conflicted. Where did her heart lie--with Figwit or with Frodo? And then there was Aragorn--he made her swoon. And what about Telecontar--she hoped that some woman would kill him sooner or later. She glanced behind her nervously, half expecting to see him there.  
  
"STay alive Frodo." she sia.d FOr me.  
  
~~~~  
  
Well that was it I love this so much! Will Frodo stay alive? What will happen in Rivendell? (See I remembered again!) No Constructive Critism, please flame. 


	4. Frodo is greatWho is that!

The Tale of an Elf  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Thank you to all who reviewed!  
  
~~~  
  
"Run Patricia! Run!"  
  
Patricia ran and leapt over a stream.  
  
"Faster Patricia! Faster!"  
  
She ran faster until she could run no more. She collapsed. "Whew that was hard. Do you think that we lost them Aragorn?"  
  
"Yes I think that we did." he said.  
  
Said Patricia "How is Frodo?"  
  
Said Aragorn, "Not good."  
  
Said Patricia "Aragorn why doth thou stare at me so? Doth thou not know that thou maketh me swoon?  
  
Said Aragorn. "That I did not know. Why do I maketh thee swoon?"  
  
Said Patricia "Because thou art a king."  
  
Said Aragorn "Not yet. But I am betrothed to another, whom I love even though thou looketh like her."  
  
Said Patricia "So am I! But I am conflicted."  
  
Said Aragorn. "Why is that?"  
  
Said Patricia. "Becuase before I went to the Shired to watch Frodo, I was engaged to Figiwt and I loved him. But now I have not seen Figwit and I love Frodo."  
  
Said Aragorn. "Thou must do what thy heart tells you."  
  
Aragorn then picked up Frodo. "Come we must hurry for it is getting late."  
  
They kept going and soon had to stop.  
  
"Why do we stop?" said Patricia.  
  
"Because Frodo is feeling worse," said Aragorn.  
  
"No" said Patricia. She knelt down next to Frodo. "Frodo!"  
  
He opened his bright, lovely, deep, blue eyelids and said weekly "Patricia."  
  
"Frodo."  
  
He reached for her hand. "Patricia."  
  
She squeezed his hand. "Frodo."  
  
He reached for her other hand with his other hand. "Patricia."  
  
She squeezed his other hand with her other hand. "Frodo."  
  
He sat up and hugged her. "Patricia."  
  
She hugged him. "Frodo."  
  
He closed his eyes and fell asleep. "Patricia."  
  
Now Patricia was faced with a problem. Frodo had fallen asleep in her arms. To set him down meant that he would probably awaken which would not be good because he needed his rest because he had been stabbed because he was carrying the ring.  
  
So Patricia held him. I shall sing to you Frodo she said and lifted her beeutiful (Oh, wait B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L) voice up in song.  
  
"Oh Froooddooo!  
Oh Frooooddooo!  
Youuu areee hurrrttt!  
I ammmm saaaaddd!  
Oh Frooooddooo!  
Iiii loooveee youu  
Buuut I looovee Fiiigwiit too!  
Oh Froooddooo!  
Oh Frooooddooo!  
Youuu areee hurrrttt!  
I ammmm saaaaddd!  
Oh Froooddoooooo!"  
  
Her lovely voice put him into a deep sleep becuase she wove a spell into her words.  
  
"Aragorn what is wrong?"  
  
"We have no food." he said.  
  
"Can you not hunt for some?"  
  
"Yes but every time that I do the animals run away."  
  
"I can bring them to you." she said.  
  
"How?"  
  
"I will sing with my lovely voice and bring the animals to you because I am an animal friend and they trust me."  
  
So she sang again.  
  
"Oooohhhh aaaniiimaals!  
Offf the woooodlaaand reaalm!  
Coooommeee toooo uuusss!  
Ooohh annniiimaaals!"  
  
The next thing that you know, Aragorn had shot and killed a sabertooth tiger.  
  
"Eew, do those taste good?" Patricia said.  
  
"Why did you not call for the deer?"  
  
"I love deer and will not wish to hurt them."  
  
Aragorn sighed. "Do not tell Frodo what he is eating as I do not think that he will like it."  
  
"I don't think that I will either." thought Patricia.  
  
~~~  
  
So they were walking again the next day when...  
  
SCREEEEECHHH!!!  
  
"Oh no!" said Patricia. "It is Telecontar!"  
  
Aragorn, Patricia and Frodo (Well Frodo was unconsious so Aragron carried him because he's sooooo strong.) ran as fast as they could. Behind them Telecontar began to sing to try to woo Patricia.  
  
"OOoooh mmyyy looove Paaatriiiciiaaaa!!!!"  
  
Patricia screamed and ran faster. Soon they outran them.  
  
Later that night, Patricia was helping Frodo eat some sabertooth tiger soup. "What is this?" he said.  
  
"Um...venison." said Patricia.  
  
"Oh. Patricia?"  
  
"Yes Frodo?"  
  
"When we get to Rivendell (Hah! I remembered how it is spelled!) will you marry Figwit?"  
  
Patricia thought. "I do not know Frodo."  
  
"Who do you love more? Me or him?"  
  
"Frodo, I,"  
  
"You must tell me Patricia! If you don't I think my heart will break!"  
  
Then Patricia knew. She did love Frodo. "I love you Frodo!" she cried. They hugged and wept into each others arms.  
  
Frodo kissed her. "I live you." he said.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Frodo smiled and fell asleep. (No plopping since he was already on the ground, see chapter 2)  
  
"Oh no what have I done?!" thought Patricia. "Whatever will Figwit say?"  
  
~~~  
  
The next day Frodo was really sick.  
  
"He needs to get to Rivendell (Ha I remembered again!) fast!" Patricia said.  
  
"I know!" said Aragorn.  
  
Suddenly they heard the sound of horses hooves, so they hid in the hazel plants.  
  
Suddenly their ears caught a dim ringing, as of small bells tinkling.  
  
"I know that sound..." said Patricia.  
  
Patricia smiled at Frodo. "Frodo is great...who is that?!!!"  
  
It was Figwit!  
  
~~~  
  
Wow, Figwit has come to save them? What will happen now that Patricia has told Frodo that she loved him?  
  
PLease R&R! Comments and Critisism and Flames are welcome! Lol!!! 


	5. Patricia dies

Chapter 5  
  
~~~  
Sorry that it took so long to update! I've been real busy with school. I've been taking a grammar course, and a spelling course!  
  
On with the story! ~~~  
  
"Figwit!" cried Patricia!  
  
"Patricia!" cried Figwit! "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Saving Frodo!" She said.  
  
Figwit and Patricia turned to look at Frodo, who had conveniently passed out, and Aragorn, who was conveniently silent.  
  
"We must needs take Frodo to Rivendell, or he shall surely die," she whispered.  
  
Figwit gently took her upper arms. "Yes, and we shall. But first Patricia--" he leaned over and kissed her.  
  
Patricia had mixed feelings. She loved Frodo, but when Figwit was kissing her, all she could think of was Figwit, who was still kissing her while she thought.  
  
Finally Figwit pulled away. "Why do you not return my kisses?" He said sadly.  
  
Patricia began to speak but then out of the bushes leapt Telecontar.  
  
"Aha!" he cried! "Thou--" he pointed at Figwit. "Doth kisseth my beloved! I shall slay thee!"  
  
Figwit drew his sword. "Not if I slay thee first," he said grimly.  
  
Telecontar drew his sword, and the elf and the undead circled one another.  
  
Patricia was horrified. These two men, er, elves, er, undead, er, males; were fighting over her!  
  
"Nooooo!" she said, flinging herself in front of Figwit.  
  
She screamed as Figiwit's blade and Telecontar's blade pierced her chest.  
  
Frodo woke up and screamed. Patricia was dead.  
  
~~~  
  
Aragorn gazed at Patricia. "She has died." he said.  
  
Frodo, Telecontar, and Figwit wept.  
  
"I killed her," moaned Figwit.  
  
"No, I did." sobbed Telecontar.  
  
"No, we both did!" they burst into tears anew.  
  
Frodo pointed at Telecontar. "Who_Is_That."  
  
But they ignored him, too busy weeping over the very dead Patricia.  
  
Suddenly a bright flash of light appeared!  
  
Suddenly it disappeared!  
  
In its place stood a....deer?  
  
"Patricia saved my life yesterday." the deer said. "Aragorn would have killed me if she had not drawn the saber tooth tiger to him instead of me."  
  
"I ATE SABERTOOTH TIGER?!" Frodo cried.  
  
Ignoring Frodo, the deer continued. "I shall give unto Patricia my life."  
  
The deer closed its eyes, and there was a brilliant flash of light. The deer feel to the ground, dead. Patricia sat up, alive.  
  
Everyone stared.  
  
"You're alive!" They cried.  
  
"Yes!" she said joyfully.  
  
Telecontar pointed his sword at Figwit. "Now, where were we?"  
  
Figwit waved him away. "Never mind. You can have her."  
  
Telecontar dropped his sword in shock. "What?"  
  
"Sike!" Figwit cried, grabbing Patricia, leaping onto his horse, and riding into the sunset.  
  
Aragorn followed suit, except with Frodo, whose face had turned green and slimy.  
  
"To Rivendell, Aragorn!" cried Figwit.  
  
Far in the distance they could Telecontar saying "I'll Get you Figwit!!!"  
  
Figwit laughed and spurned on his horse.  
  
~~~  
  
Frodo could see very little. But what he could see disturbed him.  
  
Patricia loved Figwit. But she said that she loved him. What could Frodo do to get Patricia to love him even though he was shorter, had hairy feet and a mullet?  
  
And whatever would he do when they got to Rivendell and met Legolas?  
  
~~~  
  
All these questions will be answered next time!! Please review, constructive criticism, flames, whatever.  
  
Thanks!! 


	6. Patricia is sad

Chapter 6  
  
"mm." thought Figwit as Patricia's hair blew in his face as they rod on his horse together. Her hair smelled like lavender. Figwit fingered her slinky hair and it shimmered in the sonlight. It shimmered a pretty blond like cornsilk with dark brown highlights in the light and the lighter brown highlights that reflected the firelight and some strawberry blond highlights that one could only see during the daytime.  
  
Patricia felt him finger her hair and was sad to feel that she enjoyed it. When she saw Figwit, her feelings for Frodo had dissapeared, but now that Frodo was turning green she was feeling sorry for him and was wondering if her feelings of sorrow meant that she loved him.  
  
She did not know what to do. She glanced at Frodo in her lap, and at Figwit who was riding on another horse ahead of her. She stroked Frodo's hair and kissed his forehead. She felt bad that he was sick.  
  
Patricia knew with her elf sensors that since Telelcontar could not have her, he would not let Figwit have her. That meant that he would rond up the rest of his black buddies and come to kill all of them, and take the Ring.  
  
Suddenly Patricia was sad again. When she had left the Shire, she had thought that all of her problems from being beeutiful would be over. But no. Now she was being fought over by two males and a creepy ghostie.  
  
Frodo woke up. "Patricia." he moaned.  
  
"I am here."  
  
"I love you. Do you love Figwit?"  
  
Patricia was quiet. "I do not know Frodo. I think I do when I look at him and when he kisses me and when I am dreaming of him and when he is fighting for me from Telecontar."  
  
"then you love him?" Frodo was sad  
  
"I don't know, because I love you when you are sad looking and your eyes get all big and you cry and I want to hug you and kiss you until you feel better."  
  
Frodo was sad. "Then you only pity me. You do not really love me."  
  
"Frodo, no..."  
  
"That's all right. I understand." Patricia watched sadly as Frodo went and rode with Aragorn.  
  
Figwit sat behind her and hugged her and then sped up the horse (who's name was Wind Dancer, also known as Recnad Dinwe, who was pure white in the sun and midnight black at midnight.) so that they could get away from Frodo and Aragorn.  
  
Patricia was beginning to realilze that she only loved Frodo because she felt sorry for him. She was not sure why she loved Figwit.  
  
Aragorn rode by. Patricia's heart leapt as he did. "I must love Aragron too!" she thought in horror.  
  
Suddenly, Frodo screamed in her lap. "The Nazgup." she whispered.  
  
"Figwit! Aragorn!" She called.  
  
They rode over. "what is it Patricia?"  
  
"The Nazgup are coming. I can feel them with my elf sensors. I shall ride with Frodo to Riverdale where he will be safe and not green and slimy."  
  
Figwit shook his head. "It is too danjerous. I will do it I could not stand to see you hurt."  
  
Aragorn shook his head. "It is too danjerous.I will do it I could not stand to see you hurt."  
  
Patricia shook her head. "I ride faster than anyone else in Arda. I shall take Frodo." With that she spurned Wind Dancer, whose beeutiful stripes shone in the sunlight, and rode off.  
  
Will Patricia get to Riverdale in time? Will Telecontar and the Nazgup kill her first? gasp Wait until next time to find out!!!!  
  
Let me know what you thought of this chapter!!! Ok!!! LOL!!! Until next time!!!  
  
Oh, and Mora (cannybearsedtypingsux.com) , yes I will marry you but only if you are a boy because if you were a gurl that would be gross.  
  



	7. Riverdale!

Chapter 7 Riverdale  
  
PLease Review!!!  
  
Sorry this update took so long! Lol, Ill try to update more oftin!

* * *

Patricia flew on her horse with Frodo and they went qiuckly to the river outside of riverdale. The Nazgup were chasing them. They were going to die, she worried. she could hear Telecontar approaching. "Noro lime, Asfolop, Noro lime!" she cried.  
  
Frodo was dyeing, "Hang on Frdo hang on!" she cried again.  
  
"I loooveee yoouuu Patriciaaaa!" wailed Telecontar.  
  
"splah!" went the river as she rode her pony into yht river.  
  
Patrica turned around as the Nazgup came up behind her and stopped at the edge of the lake.  
  
"Patricia, come to me!" he wailed.  
  
"if you want me, come and claim me!" she cried.  
  
Frodo moaned, green and slimy.  
  
The Nazgup ran across the river in their horses.  
  
"Elohir lastbolbethnar Elogim groin elohia liar!" Patricia cried in El fish.  
  
"Roar!" the river came up and washed the Nazgul.  
  
Frodo groaned again. Patricia got off the horse and knelt down next to Frito. "Frodo! You cannot dye! I realize now that I love thee and not FIgwit! Alas! Parting is such sweet sorrow!"  
  
"I love you too Patricia!" he cried.  
  
"Do not dye Frodo!" she said. "I shall save thee!"  
  
"I would I were thy bird" he gasped.  
  
"So would I sweet yet I would kill you with much cherishing." she replied.  
  
"Frodo here I shall save you by giving you my necklace of Everlasting Life." she pulled the loverly jewel off of her neck. It was a gold heart on a platinum chain and inside of the gold heart (it was a locket) was no picture but on the front of the necklace were rubies and saphires.  
  
"Why is there no picture?" asked Frodo.  
  
"I am saving the picture for my one true. love."  
  
He looked at her with his humongous blue eyes. "Is that me Patricia."  
  
"I think so Frodo she replied.  
  
Just then Figwit and Aragon come riding up. "Patricia!" they cried.  
  
"What happened?" sad Figwit.  
  
"I was chased by the Nazgup than they were washed and Frodo is alive because I gave him my necklace of Everlasting Love."  
"No!" said Figwit. "That was supposesd to be for me!"  
  
"You are not my Everlasting Love!" I cried.  
  
I picked up Frodo and ignored Figwit and ran to Riverdale. It was a beautiful white El Fish place full of Elves and music and laughter.  
  
Patricia was happy to be there. She was also happy that Frodo was not green and slimy.  
  
"Welcome to the last Home House." said Lord Elrond.  
  
PAtricia smiled. "Hello milord."  
  
Elrond let some elves take Frodo to a room where he would heal. Then he said to Patricia. "We need to talk."  
  
"What is it." she said.  
  
"I think that Frodo will go on a journey."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"To destroy the ring. And I think that you need to go too."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"To find your parentage."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because no one ever told you who your true parents are."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because no one knows."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I will hold a coucil tomorrow to make it official. I will probably send Aragorn with you and some others. See you in the morning."  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
Patricia went to her room and bumped into a cute elf with blond hair and long blue eyes.  
  
"Hello? Who are you?" she asked.  
  
"I am Legless." he said.  
  
"Oh. I am Patricia."  
  
You are beautiful his eyes said. "Meet me outside on the bridge late.r" he said.  
  
"All right," she said and almost swooned.  
  
Wow! He was cute!

* * *

OMG! What fun! Ill try to make the next chapter longer!!  
  
Review!  
  
Please Review! 


	8. The Truth of this Tale

From the author of "A Tale of an Elf":

Hello. Wow, it's been a really long time since I looked at this fic. (2 years...) I had actually forgotten that it existed. Fanfiction recently put in a private messaging function, and someone PMed me about my story. Imagine my surprise when I logged in and saw _ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY THREE _reviews!

Well, here is the truth: This is, was, and forever shall be, a parody. I'm not sure exactly what possessed me to write it. Perhaps I had just read so many Mary Sues that I felt I could properly write a parody of their terrifying Sue-ness. I can spell, use proper grammar and coherent sentences, and have read LOTR 8 times as well as the Silmarillion and the complete History of Middle Earth. I'm also attending college as a journalism major.

The sad thing is, my badly written (understatement of the century, I know) parody got 133 reviews. My serious stories that I spent a lot of time tweaking got 7 reviews. Apparently people write more when they hate something, eh?

Well...I don't remember why I stopped writing this. It probably stopped when my LOTR obsession stopped. But thank you, Avalon's Mist, for reminding me of my tale. -)

I am now debating whether to continue this or not. Time will tell.

Just one more question...could anyone tell me if this ever was PPC'd? If it was, I could die quite happily.

Thank you all for your readership.


End file.
